New Delhi: In a podcast with Zerodha co-founder Nikhil Kamath, Prime Minister Narendra Modi opened up about how he managed anxiety, reflecting on the tragic Godhra train burning incident of February 2002, that resulted in the deaths of 59 people. That event occurred just 3 days after he was first elected as an MLA. The Prime Minister recalled how only a single-engine helicopter was available, but his security team was persistent to allow him to fly on it. He also shared his emotional experience upon visiting the site and how he kept his feelings in check. PM Modi became an MLA on February 24, 2002, and just 3 days later, on February 27, he got to know about the Godhra incident. “I had been an MLA for only three days. And, suddenly, I came to know about that big incident in Godhra. There was a fire on the train. I came to know, gradually, that people were dead. I was obviously very restless, I was worried. As soon as I came out of the Assembly, I said that I wanted to go to Godhra. So, I told them that we would go to Vadodara and take a helicopter from there. They said that there was no helicopter. I told them to arrange it from somewhere. I guess ONGC (Oil and Natural Gas Corporation) had one. It was a single-engine helicopter. They said they could not take a VIP. I said, 'I am not a VIP. I am a common man. I will go.'”
The Prime Minister recounted how this led to a fired up argument, but he insisted on taking full responsibility for the journey in writing. “And I reached Godhra. Now, with that painful sight... several bodies... you can imagine... I am also a human being, I also felt things. But I was aware that, being in this post... I have to stay detached from my emotions, my natural tendency as a human being. I have to rise above it all. And I did whatever I could to handle myself,” he said further.
In reply to a question about anxiety, PM Modi also spoke up about the Gujarat elections held later that year. “In 2002, there were elections in Gujarat. It was the biggest challenge of my life... I never watched TV and didn't check the results,” the PM stated.
“At 11:00 am or noon, I heard the beat of drums outside the chief minister's bungalow. I had told everyone not to inform me till 12 pm. Then our operator sent me a letter saying I was leading with a two-thirds majority. So, I don't believe that nothing affected me that day, but I had a thought to overpower that feeling,” he concluded at the end.