Ten Things You Should Never EVER Google. EVER.


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Google is the search engine of the 21st century. Everyone depends on Google a lot and rightly so. I mean, you can find ways to clear your skin all the way to how to diagnose your illness from WebMD. But sometimes, sometimes we are careless and we end up scarring ourselves so badly that it stays with us for a few days.

Blue Waffle

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Don’t google Blue Waffle. Do NOT GOOGLE THIS. I did and I’m f**king scarred. DONT. On a lighter note, you may also get images of blue colored waffles, but if you look at the images, you’ll find yourself unwillingly and unwittingly looking at bruised, pussing and bloody genitalia. Plus, it’s an actual disease, so it might also scare you to death. It’s good to be aware, just don’t google the image. Specifically the JPG.

Trypophobia

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Trypophobia will bring up images that will make you cringe when you see them. They’ll disgust until you realize that you’re looking at a microscopic image of the holes in a kitchen sponge. DONT GOOGLE THIS EITHER. Not the images at least. There’s a reason why I’m not putting any images, lest I want to get banned.

The feeling of complete fear and disgust that you feel when you look at a cluster of small holes on a surface means that you’ve got trypophobia. And more people than you’d think suffer from it. It stems from an ancient instinct that tells us to stay away from poisonous things with small clusters of holes on them. Not to mention, many graphic designers are now using it as art on weird parts of the body to scar us all.

2 Girls 1 Cup

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Okay, this one was pretty famous. Everyone has googled this at some point of time. Even then, there are many virgins to this video who don’t know what the f**k it means. So I will not spoil it, lest you’re someone who enjoys that kind of stuff, but let me warn you: you will not like chocolate ice cream and anything chocolate after you watch it.

Pain Olympics

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Pain Olympics is a weird twisted of the pretigious Olympic games. Sponsored by BME, the Body Modification Enzine, it features competitors who are willing to tightly tie and even cut off their own genitalia in order to win.

Lemon Party

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Unless, you like to see three olds dudes have a threesome (which will ruin your innocence, if you have any left), this video isn’t for you. Because lemons make lemonades and lemonades are tasty. Lemon Party, not so much.

Old Hag Syndrome

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Also scientifically known as Sleep Paralysis where you will feel a crushing weight on your chest and you will be unable to move your body. Old Hag Syndrome is when you hallucinate about a old woman in the corner of the room and you believe she’s the one causing you this pain. So it can really result in a few sleepless nights.

Skin Conditions

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It seems harmless, right? In the Web search, yeah. Pretty harmless. But you click images, and it’s all gone. I googled it and it’s not nice and I’m going to have nightmares. You’ll be greeted with images of maggots in the heels of feet, scaly almost falling skin, scarred and pussing pieces of the epidermis and other bloody rashes. Don’t do it.

Poop Noodles

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The term sounds innocent, but if you click images, you will be greeted with images of poop in places that the human eye should never see it in. Nobody wants to see someone make soup out of poop. Nope.

Tetris Fanfiction

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Tetris fanfiction isn’t about playing the beloved game of tetris. It all about the eroticism. These fanfictions are erotic. It’s about the s*x, except the blue snake like block is f**king the red snake like block doggy style. You get my point?

Goatse

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Goatse.cx sets the shock standard for other shock sites. It shows the picture of a man holding his rectum open for everyone to see the insides. Much to our disgust, this has been referenced a lot in Hollywood movies, shows and news shows. Why?

I advice, since I have ruined my eyes enough, do not google any of these pictures unless you love your life.


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Batul Khozema

A Hollywood, lifestyle and listicle writer of the finest kind, with a sarcasm that could make make the Statue of Liberty sigh and jokes that could make sunflowers turn away from the sun to laugh, you can always count on her to make your day brighter and bring a smile on your face.

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