Then vs. Now: Key Differences Between Our Mindset and Gen Z’s Approach to Relationships

Every generation has its unique way of looking at life and relationships. While we grew up in an era where love was often seen as long-term and deeply personal, Gen Z is rewriting the rules. Their approach to relationships—often centered on casual connections and hookups—may seem unfamiliar or even surprising to us. Let’s explore why this shift has occurred and what it says about their mindset versus ours.

1. The Role of Technology

When we were younger, meeting someone meant spending time in the real world—college, work, or mutual gatherings. Relationships took time to build.

Gen Z, on the other hand, is growing up in the age of dating apps like Tinder and Bumble. These platforms encourage casual interactions and quick matches, making serious connections less common. For example, swiping right or left on someone’s profile feels transactional compared to the emotional depth of writing love letters or having long conversations over the phone.

2. Changing Cultural Norms

In our time, dating was often a step toward marriage. Relationships were seen as an investment in the future. Societal expectations played a big role, with family often involved in decisions.

For Gen Z, the focus has shifted. They’re in no rush to settle down and are more likely to explore their options before committing. Hookup culture has gained acceptance, and terms like “situationship” reflect how relationships are viewed as fluid rather than fixed.

3. Focus on Independence

We often prioritized relationships alongside career and family. Balancing all three was a shared responsibility between partners.

Gen Z, however, emphasizes individuality and independence. They want to build their careers and identities first, with relationships often taking a back seat. Casual dating fits this mindset better than the long-term commitments we valued.

4. Access to Information

We learned about relationships from personal experiences, friends, or family. Mistakes were part of the journey, and advice was often limited to those we trusted.

Gen Z has access to an endless stream of relationship content online. From TikTok to Instagram reels, advice is available everywhere. However, this information overload can lead to a focus on trends rather than genuine connection, influencing them to experiment more rather than settle down.

5. Different Attitudes Toward Vulnerability

In our day, expressing emotions and being vulnerable were considered essential parts of building a strong relationship.

Gen Z, while open to discussing mental health and self-care, can sometimes shy away from emotional intimacy in romantic relationships. Hookups provide a way to avoid vulnerability while still fulfilling the need for companionship.

How This Shift Impacts Relationships

This change in mindset doesn’t mean Gen Z avoids meaningful relationships entirely—it just means their priorities are different. Serious relationships often come later in life when they feel ready to invest emotionally.

While this casual approach may seem disconnected, it’s a reflection of the times. Economic uncertainty, social media pressures, and evolving gender roles all influence how Gen Z navigates love.