Recently, we held a Jabra Fan quiz contest on the occasion of BTS’s Jimin’s 26th Birthday where the contest’s winner got the chance to write a letter dedicated to Jimin. So here we congratulate the winner of our Jabra fan contest from Mumbai Miss Batul Badlawala (IG @_redamantic) who wrote a letter that is filled with love, devotion, care, and support to our cutest ”Baby Mochi” Jimine!!
Here is what her letter says:
I’m not as formal as this letter looks, and I want to talk to you like I’ve known you since ages, but I can’t do that. I don’t know you the way I’d like to and I don’t want to be disrespectful. I want you to like me after all ☺
My name is Batul. It might be hard to pronounce, I know. My name’s always hard to pronounce. I wish I had a simpler name. It means being empathetic towards someone, feeling their pain like it’s your own. I don’t know how true it is…I mean, I’m empathetic towards people and I understand their pain. So the name suits. I guess it makes sense, right?
I’m from Mumbai, India, and work here as a graphic designer. I draw really well and I like to write too. I wish you could visit my art page, I’d really like you to see it, it’s ok Instagram. Just search up @_redamantic. I’ll never know if you actually see my page, but it’s a nice feeling. I draw you a lot. Please, don’t think of me as creepy or anything, it’s nothing like that. There’s no other way to say any of this without making it sound creepy. I really love drawing you, to the point that if I’m in a good mood, I can draw you freehand, without a reference of any kind for your face. Drawing you (and BTS) calms me and helps me focus my mind on one thing. My head’s always in a disarray, there are too many thoughts zipping past one after another, crossing over here and there and it’s…it’s just hard to keep track of what comes and goes. So when I sit down to draw you or anyone from BTS, my mind zeroes down to just that thing, and then that concentration carries onto everything else I do afterward. So it’s a way to make myself feel in control of my mind. I feel like it’s always running away from me.
There was a time in my life where I wasn’t doing good. I wasn’t keeping well, I’d fall sick a lot and it was because of family stress – financial, breaking relationships, you name it, I had it. I stopped drawing for a long time, just because picking up a pencil to draw didn’t excite me at all. It was always, “What do I even do with this skill, it’s not like I’m good at it or anything.” Nothing came to me. I had very less things to inspire me and a lot more things that brought me down. Are BTS guardian angels that come to people in their darkest times and help them out? Because that’s exactly what happened to me. I found RUN and I NEED U one fine day in December and I have to say, after that my life slowly started getting better. I’m not saying it just to make you feel better, I honestly mean it. It’s been what, two years and a few months and my life is significantly better. To the point that I can actually freely think about going to one of your concerts even if it’s in another country. I not only started picking up my pencil with the intent to create something, I gained confidence in my skill – a gift, as my dad likes to call it, and I started looking at my skill as a gift too. Not only that, I graduated with a degree in English literature and a diploma in graphic designing and illustration, another thing I’ve always loved doing. It’s so much fun to make something digitally, to be able to add things to an image and make it as if your fantasy has come to life in vivid brightness. And I achieved another milestone in my life when I started an account where I can post my art for people from all over the world to see. I know you can relate to the fear that comes with putting your work out there for people to judge. It scared and frightened me to no end, and sometimes, you think, “This is such a bad idea, I shouldn’t have.” It’s daunting, allowing complete strangers to criticize the things you’ve put so much hard work into making. And I have anxiety about things like picking up an unknown number. So opening my own art account was a huge deal for me and I’m glad I’m in the mental space to handle things like that now.
But it was all mostly because of the seven of you. All of you gave me hope and promise that tomorrow will be better, that what we do know is in the past and we’re making the future one step at a time. Your lyrics spoke to me like they were teaching me a life lesson. Your music and your talents made me realize that my talents should also be appreciated. I love all seven of you because all of you helped me gain back a part of me I had lost and I didn’t think I’d get back. But Jimin, I’ve always loved you differently from the rest of BTS. Not more than them, just differently from them. You taught me that loving someone doesn’t mean that I need to be with them all the time or that they need to belong to me. Loving you taught me how to love without any expectations, loving someone that’s far away from you, and how to love someone when they don’t belong to you. You’re amazing, beautiful, your smile is the brightest I’ve seen (after Hobi’s, of course ;)) your eyes are gorgeous, everything about you is amazing and you’re such a wonderful human being. You’re smart, you sing well, you dance well, you’re the cutest person I’ve seen, yet you’re also the sexiest man I know of. Who wouldn’t fall for you? More than just how to love someone, you taught me that willpower, hard work, perseverance, and faith are the strongest things a person can have. What you had, what you did, whatever you believed in has finally led up to where you are now. Contrary to what you believe in, your flaws are why you’re so perfect. You’re short-tempered, you like to stand your ground sometimes and be stubborn and you tend to not keep your room clean (don’t stress your roommate out like that, Jimin. C’mon, keep it clean XD). You always make sure that the other members are happy and that they’re well taken care of, even if you aren’t feeling well yourself. Please take care of yourself, your health is so, so important, just like the other member’s health is just as important. When you had sore muscles and couldn’t perform, it’s okay, you know. We understand, we know you’re not superman, that you don’t have super strength and that you fall ill too. Things happen. And I know you think differently right now, that that happened a few months ago and you’ve learned from that, but I know you probably still feel bad when you think about it. We’re your fans, Jimin. I’m your fan, Jimin. I know you want to put up the show of the century for us, I know how it might feel to not be able to do something you love for the people you love. But I can’t have you feeling bad over circumstances. I love you and care for you and I want all seven to be healthy and happy. But you’re only human, just like me, just like any one of us. You fall sick, and you get sore muscles sometimes. I’d rather you take care of yourself than hurt yourself, even more, trying to show us a good performance. I can live with one awkward performance, I can’t live knowing you’re in pain and hurting bad. I worry about you because you’re so selfless. It’s a good thing, but it scares me that sometimes, you just won’t see your pain because someone else needs a shoulder to cry on; you won’t see your own pain because you need to make us happy. But seeing you happy makes me happy. End of story. As long as you smile, I smile. I can’t see you in pain and I cry when you cry but that’s just love I guess. It makes you think a little differently, right? Just know, Jimin, that I’ll always have your back. No matter what happens. BTS is the most beautiful thing to have happened in my life, and you’re the most beautiful person I fell in love with. You all gave me the strength, that extra push I needed to start crawling my way out and I eventually got up and walked and now I’m running. To where, God knows, but I love this feeling so much. I’m glad I fell for you, Jimin. I never thought I could be happy about someone else achieving so much, but here I am, cheering for BTS every time you guys make a new record, bring out a new song, release new content, I’m always smiling because all of you are smiling.
I don’t need to be as successful as all of you are, I don’t dream of that life. I did once, but not anymore. I dream of a life where I’m happy and the people I love and care about, near and far away, are also just as happy with whatever they’re doing in their lives. Thank you for making me see that and making it, not a goal in my life, but something I’d like to see eventually down the line. You don’t know the changes you alone have brought about in my life, Jimin. I don’t want you to see me as a fan; I’m going to be such a good person, that the day I meet you – and I hope I meet you soon – you’ll look at me and learn something from me too. If you’d seen me in 2015, you might not have liked me at all. But I’m way better now, I’ve risen out of it all, and I’m a good person right now, not the best because I’ve got my flaws too; no one’s perfect. I’m getting there. I know one day I’ll become someone you can show off to your bandmates and say, “This is my fan, look at her, she’s amazing!” I’d like that, that’d be fun.
Until then, keep fighting and I’ll keep cheering for you. Follow your dreams and I’ll follow mine and we’ll both pray that we’re successful in whatever we do in our lives. I’ll pray that a day comes where I get to go to a concert and see you with my own eyes, doing what you love to do, enjoying yourself to the fullest.
Love from your one and only,
This letter of yours filled with love, care, and affectionate words will surely reach Jimin soon!!