New Year is a festival all on it’s own. It doesn’t look at community or religion or whatever, all it looks at is a lot of fun. And then what’s even more fun are the drunks that you’ll meet at these parties. The dancers, the barfers and all of those people and they’re super fun to hang out with, but even more fun to mock after all the hub-hub is over. So when you go to the New Year’s party this time see if you can spot any of these people and go have fun with them.
Just don’t become one of them, maybe.
1. The Dazzling Dancers
These beautiful people are so convinced that they are dancing stars and the sexiest people with the groove. For the rest of us, it’s just a drunken potato doing some sort of rolly-polly dancing. But for them, they’re dancing with the stars.
2. The Befuddled Barfers
These people are also known as the “lightweight” and they just can’t hold their liquor down. The only thing to help them is to let them reach the bathroom on time. Don’t do weird shit in the bathroom all night, maybe.
3. That One Who Goes Too Far
Jump off the roof and into the pool? Yup, up for it! Strap fireworks to a scooter and blast yourself across the backyard? No problemo. Whatever this person thinks he can do, he most definitely can’t because he’ll die, but hey! He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but let’s hold him back a little.
4. The Party Philosopher
The only person in the party who thinks that he’s at the edge of this epiphany that will change his entire world. He’s convinced that it’ll come any minute, and when it does, he’s going to have the knowledge of Socrates. Lucky us.
5. The Selfie-Taker
All this person wants to do is take selfies everywhere they go. All they want to do is click pics of themselves in mirrors and that’s that. And obviously, a NYE party is the perfect place to have a selfie marathon, amiright?
6. The Crying Chick
This girl starts crying. It could be anything, maybe she got dumped, maybe she’s going through some stuff herself, but the minute the booze gets to her head, she’ll start crying you a river. She’s usually found in the bathroom, huddles with a friend who’s whispering soothing words to her.
7. The Resolution Remaker
After a few drinks, these people are convinced that they’ll get raise next year, be a better person and have a good love life in general. Good luck with that, buddy.
8. The Mushy Baby
Just these four words on repeat: “I love you, man.”
9. The Guy Whose Done Everything
He’s a little older than everyone at the party, he’s also a done everything that you’ve done, like, a decade ago. He thinks you’re really cute while you talk about the things he done way too many times all the way back when, when it was cool.
10. The One Who Kisses Everyone
S/he is really friendly, and they’re fun to hang out with. But they can go from “I love you” to “I want to put my tongue down your throat” and it can be really awesome or really awkward.